6. Control/Power

This is a short section, mainly because I think it is so plainly obvious. Another factor I think was relevant to the difficulties we had in our relationship, was the issue of control. I believe that you subconsciously tried to compensate for a lack of control over the events in your life, by attempting to control me. It was as if a sense of powerlessness led you to try to obtain this power in negative or hurtful ways--e.g., using anger and seething silence, criticizing, yelling, nagging, ordering, ridiculing, intimidating, and in general whipping me into shape. Even when "teasing" me, when I protested you would say harshly, "Iím just giving you a hard time." What was the underlying motive for "just giving me a hard time"?

By controlling me you could feel power in at least one aspect of your life. I think it made you feel better. And for a long time, I was easily controlled, so it was the perfect setup. I suspect that you felt best when you had this control, and could basically do to me anything you wanted, with impunity. Would you like to return to that time, when you felt so powerful? Would you like to return to that time when I would jump and cower at your every word??

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